He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
