Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
