Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Hippo gnu deer
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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