I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
