we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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