I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
