god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
of course. lets lasso hookers.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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