Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
