Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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