can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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