Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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