at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
