Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
