My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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