Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
