her vagine was all disorganized.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
