Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
