i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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