ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
