my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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