I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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