I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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