I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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