I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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