Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
