After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
