And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
