So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Operation Purity has been aborted
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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