a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
