it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
