Tell her she can't have a vagina
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
