If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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