I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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