you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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