i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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