Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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