I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
