I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
