hotel room ftw
...so i touched it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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