Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
