Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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