i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Randomize