I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
