my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize
