My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
