Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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