i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
