My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize