Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we made out on top of his cat.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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