i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
