So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
