when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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