Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
