I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
4 words: hood of his car
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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