so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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