Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
