i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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