you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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