I think I died a long time ago.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
