I haven't been this sober since birth.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
