Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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