Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
