I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
