im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize