I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
