its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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