Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
