I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
