And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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