Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
