covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
