i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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