At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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