I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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